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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a parent >> Mike - Interview 9 >> Mike was only 18 when his father took his own life by suicide. Mike felt tremendous grief. He also felt despair, sorrow, perplexity and anger.

In 1972, when Mike was aged 18, his father took his own life. He died in his car by inhaling fumes from the exhaust. His death has had a huge impact on Mike’s life. Mike has done much to help others bereaved due to suicide, which has also helped him.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a parent >> Ted - Interview 19 >> After a year of intense grief Ted only felt anger with his father for what his father had done.

Ted was 12 years old when his father took his own life by hanging. Ted’s family found it hard to talk about it and Ted lacked information. He felt intense grief during that first year. Ted has found help by researching his father’s life and through SOBS.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a parent >> Lynne - Interview 26 >> At times Lynne feels sad and angry that her mother has not been there to share the important occasions in her life. However, Lynne knows that her moth

In 1981, when Lynne was 19, her mother drowned in the bath at home. It seems that she took her own life. Lynne felt her mother had been let down by the professionals who had been involved in her care. She has found support from friends & colleagues.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Linda - Interview 35 >> Linda’s ten-year-old daughter was angry because she hadn’t immediately been told the truth about her sister’s death. Linda promised she would be hones

In 2005 Linda’s 13 year old daughter took her own life. Linda and her family were shocked. Linda still feels devastated, but more in control, and is back at work. She has found help thought a psychologist and has attended a SOBS conference.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Jasvinder - Interview 18 >> Jasvinder felt perturbed because the funeral took place at the house where her sister had taken her own life. A Sikh priest spoke and the female mourn

Jasvinder’s sister, Robina, died in 1987 from burns. She had an unhappy marriage and told her husband she was going to take her own life. Jasvinder has kept her sister’s memory alive by setting up Karma Nirvana, a project that advocates for Asian people.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Lucreta - Interview 39 >> After Dominique died Lucreta found it therapeutic to write down her feelings and express her anger. She wrote a book about her daughter’s death.

In 1996, Lucreta’s daughter, Dionne (also called Dominique), jumped to her death. She was 18 when she died. Lucreta had no idea that Dionne had been so unhappy, and was shocked by her death. Lucreta has found support from friends, her church, her GP, and counsellors.

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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Changing emotions-sadness, guilt & anger >> Changing emotions-sadness, guilt & anger

Changing emotions-sadness, guilt & anger

 

When people first heard about their loved one’s suicide they usually felt shocked, as well as many other emotions (see ‘First reactions-shock, disbelief, despair & relief’). Margaret described bereavement by suicide as a “big open wound”.

 

It has been suggested that there are four “tasks” of mourning, and that over time people need to accept the reality of their loss, allow time to experience feelings and emotions, adjust to life without the dead person, and “move on” with life. However, grieving individuals may not go through these stages and those who do may not undertake them in a fixed order. Indeed, one of the men we talked to who had lost his wife argued that the notion of “stages of grief” is a “load of rubbish”.