Early hours of the morning I awoke feeling very nauseated and had projectile vomiting.

 

 

I, that was, that was a Friday. Over the next, over the weekend I had difficulty eating, I was vomiting so obviously I just drank fluids and I had what I called baby food, like ice creams and jelly. Monday I then decided there was something quite wrong. Went to my GP, examined me, considered I had possibly some, some infection in around the area of the gall bladder, prescribed two lots of antibiotics, but before commencing those I had to go and have bloods. I had a blood profile and she phoned me back that evening to say she wanted to see me the next morning. This went on for a week. I would see her or she’d contact me for a week with my symptoms and my blood, blood profile. By the following Friday I’d started to have some jaundice, very, very faint. And my stools started to become putty colour and my urine very dark. I had no pain. I was feeling very nauseated and I was feeling very ill. And I can’t describe in detail what I mean by very ill other than I was fatigued, obviously lacking energy and generally feeling under par because normally I’m a very active, physically active person. And I realised there was something wrong.

 

I saw a consultant who was a gastroenterologist, who put me up on a drip and did various you know preliminary investigations. But people were focussing more on, not focussing more but putting a lot of emphasis on, “Was I diabetic?”

 

Well I wasn’t diabetic, but I had noticed I’d lost weight. Well I would say, regard myself as being overweight before this occurred. However I was a very fit and active sort, although I thought, you know, it didn’t really concern me that much. Lost, I started to lose a bit of weight,

 

 

Oh at that point, I would say I’d probably lost about a, almost a stone in a week or maybe ten days.

 

He [the surgeon] didn’t go into any detail at that stage of what it entailed other than he; this particular surgeon did surgery on the pancreas. I didn’t want detail at that point, what, what the surgery entails, although I knew it would have been radical.

 

He then went on to explain about you know I’d always be diabetic if they did surgery, or even without surgery I’d have to have insulin, my lifestyle would be sort of vastly different from what it had previously been…

 

Then things just seemed to be moving from there, I then was sort of seen by the diabetic nurse who was amazing. Told me everything about the diabetes, about taking bloods which I did, I take my blood sugars everyday.

 

 

Yes because of the type of the position of the tumour.

 

I came home. I then had to wait for an appointment with the other consultant. I came home on the Monday, oh the Wednesday. On the following Monday I had to attend the diabetic clinic where I was met with the diabetic nurse and the dietician. And I was informed at that point I’d have to go onto insulin.

 

So I was shown how to self medicate, I had twenty units of Lantus through one injection daily, advised on the sort of foods to eat, you know I had normal food with some tweaking, you know, some diet sheets, “You must follow this, its, it’s really being sensible.” Three days after I had seen the diabetic nurse she visited me at home to observe me doing the injections,

 

 

Which I thought was excellent.

 

It gave me confidence because it, it is a slightly overwhelming, again, suddenly you’ve got to inject yourself. And I thought, “Am I going to be diabetic for the rest of my life?” And all the consequences of being diabetic, it’s not just, it’s everything else obviously with diabetes long term one has to consider, it’s a bit daunting.

 

 

Physical examination, questions about how I feel and my life style.

 

 

Not my surgeon.

 

My oncologist I see every two to three months. Again it’s a good interview, a good examination with my oncology nurse present. I have bloods taken before the consultation, for cancer markers, which can be very misleading and a bit terrifying, because mine are going up and up and up and up. It’s an indicator that perhaps there is something going on, a few cells floating around, I don’t know. It’s not definitive, It’s a marker, it’s a guide. I could be just one of these people who produces these markers without anything abnormal happening. And the scans,

 

 

Oncologist.

 

 

Oncology, oncology deals with all this. I’m scanned when my marker goes up.

 

Okay.

 

 

No, nothing to see. And about every two or three months,

 

 

Yes.

 

I was prepared possibly to have a 50% of my life back, my life is almost as normal as it was when I was fit and healthy.

 

 

Yes I’ve lost weight, yes my eating is not as it was, I don’t want food. I have to keep an eye on what I’m eating. I get a little bit more tired maybe, but I’ve got into the habit of having an afternoon siesta. I do a lot, I’ve continued my walking. I do cliff path walking, I can walk up to about three hours. I cycle up to about twenty miles. I swim. I’ve never pushed myself. I was not driven to do these things. It was a gradual process. You can’t push, you can’t drive. You have to listen and I know this is a cliché but truly if you do stop your body tells you exactly what to do. And I’ve listened to that implicitly. And to what my medical team has advised me, and what I know is right for me in there, in my head.

 

 

I’m delighted to be alive. It’s been an extraordinary, extraordinary experience from the minute I was diagnosed, right through my process of treatment, whether it’s surgery, chemotherapy, the will, the need to survive, it’s been extraordinary and along that route I’ve had extraordinary people in my life, both professionals and others. They’ve always been there but you’re more aware of them. It’s been very difficult at times; it’s not been an easy road. But you get there. I got there because I wanted to get there. 

 

I needed to get there. I’m so delighted and happy, I thank God every day I’m alive and I mean that sincerely. I don’t take it for granted. I try to tweak my life a bit more efficiently.

 

I think a little bit more what I can do or can’t do, for example I’m a great lover of Egypt, I did a lot of sub aqua diving in the Red Sea. I went, returned there in December last year for a holiday. I did not risk taking that risk of diving. I’m thinking just a little bit more carefully of how I risk things in my life.