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Says it wasn't easy telling the children but recommends being open with everybody.
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How did you tell the children?
Well I asked the kids to come out and they all came out and, that's a lie, that's not quite strictly true. We went straight from the hospital round to see my eldest daughter, my only daughter who is the eldest and I think she was prepared because we had talked to her about it and said that probably it is going to be lung cancer. But we went down and had a few tears down my daughter's house all of us and a cup of tea (laughs) works wonders, a cup of tea. And I seen the boys and told them, and not a very nice job to do but they had to be told and they've been excellent really, they've been very good.
So you'd recommend being open with the family, with children?
I'd recommend being open with everybody. |
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Has great faith in his doctors and has not searched much for information.
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After you had the diagnosis did you look for information from books or leaflets or the internet?
No I've got no access to the internet. I don't think I can set the video, so I don't think I can get on the internet too well. Basically, I looked at a couple of things but then I've got that much faith in my doctors and the doctors at the hospital that I don't think it's necessary. I don't, that's me, I'm probably lazy... I've got one hundred percent faith in my doctors, just, I don't think there's need for running around. There was a little thing the other day come up on Radio Four which they thought was thalidomide was now in, they're having tests on that for lung cancer but we did have a little look at that but I think it's still in the early stages yet being tested. But that's about all. |
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Describes how relaxation and self-hypnosis have helped him.
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Yes, you mentioned that sometimes you find relaxation useful. Can you talk about that a little bit please?
Yes, sure, the relaxation is sort of a mental thing that's within myself it's, nobody has told me to do this but I just think it helps me that if I just, for example, I have a shower and I'm thinking about all this water on my body so now I sometimes, not often but sometimes I sit in the bottom of the shower cross legged, taking sort of a yoga position, I've never done yoga but, and I just sit there for whatever, how long. And I just can imagine and concentrate on all this water running over my body and then I try to concentrate on the water running in my body, to wash away all the dirt off me. Whether it works or not I don't know but it makes me feel better. I was taught many years ago how to do self hypnosis, I have done that on a couple of occasions when I've been out here on my own, drawn the curtains in the dark, that helps, that helps.
How do you do self hypnosis?
My GP taught me to do this and it's something, what you've got to do you've got to actually lie on the floor, a hard floor with a small cushion behind your back, and behind your neck, darkened room, nice and quiet. And he said to me I had to think of something that I used to enjoy to do, when I was young. Well we used to swim in the river, all the cow pats going by then, was no problem then you know, and he said to me, “Get the picture of you swimming in the river when you was a child or a teenager”, and the sound of the water and you just shut your head off and you just get this picture and see it, if you just shut your eyes you can see it and you can see the bend in the river where we all used to go and swim and you're laid there with your fingers outstretched and you're just totally completely relaxed, you can do it if you think hard enough about it.
And then you start thinking about all the things that you used to do in the river and all the time you're laid on the floor but your mind has got to completely take over. And then you've got at the same time when you know that you have completely relaxed you then you get this line, an imaginary line coming up either from your toes or down from the tip of your head, but I always come from toes for some reason. And I've got this imaginary line come up through my body, you can feel it, if you're totally and completely relaxed in your mind you can feel this line coming up through your body and you feel it come up through your torso, you can feel it go down through your arms and out through your finger tips. You can feel it come up through your neck, through your face and it comes out the top of your head. That helps you relax but you've got to really want to do it, to be able to do it, you've got to, really got to concentrate so hard. That's good. |
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Says doctors have a hard job telling people they are going to die and that the doctors and nurses were excellent.
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What about communication with the doctors at the hospital, did they explain things to you?
Excellent, they were excellent, all the way through. I'm personally happy with the whole system, since day one, I cannot I can't fault them, may be. They've got a horrendous job to do, I don't know what these people, what makes these people want to be doctors, especially dealing with people like myself. “Sorry make you croak and that”, I mean how do you tell people that? I think you've got to be a certain type of person. But they are just generally very, very nice, kind, understanding, helpful, I cannot fault them. May be we're lucky down here but I don't know. But from my GP down to the nurses in his surgery, to the nurses at the hospital, and the consultants I can't knock them, I cannot knock them. |
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He held his own wake and collected money for charity.
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This Cancer Care people they, as I said before forty percent of their funding comes from the health trust and the other sixty percent has got to be raised. I was out one night talking to a friend of mine, I won't use the language I used that night but what the situation was he sort of laughed and he said "Oh we're going to have a good party when you go," and I said "Oh yeah you probably will, lucky lot of so and so's. And we sat there generally chit-chatting and it came out that that night I decided I would hold my own wake, and this we did. So we had a nice little wake on 5th January and I charged £5 a ticket for people to come. And we had some music and we had a little bit of food but we raised £900 for Cancer Care.
Oh that's good.
So that was quite good and they were obviously over the moon. And then as time went on in the summer we had, as time went on in the summer I decided just to have a charity night and we raised another few hundred quid. And September of last year I've had quite a few good people saying "Oh when we going to have another do, when we going to have another do," so I thought okay fine so let's have another think about this. So I decided to organise another do and call it my Still Awake Wake. So we had a country and western band and loads of people, my friends and business associates donated prizes and we had a draw and we had seventy odd prizes in the draw and everybody had a jolly good night. And that night we raised £1180 for the Cancer Care people so they're actually over the moon with that.
Excellent.
But again it was just my sense of humour really.
But now they're on about when are we going to have the next one so I said "Well you can only have so many wake, wake, wakes can't you?" so the next one I'm going to be sixty in July so I've decided to have a sixtieth birthday party and just have a charity night and raise a few more bob for them. But it's just this still awake and awake and my waking wake was just a bit of fun really. I must admit it didn't, there was quite, a few of my friends, not many, but just a few of them said they'd buy a ticket but wouldn't come because they couldn't see the funny side of it.
Oh that's interesting that you can feel there's a sense of humour in it but other people perhaps can't?
Well I think everybody is different aren't they, everybody has got their opinions about this, that and the other. I've got quite a good friend, he'll donate prizes and he'll buy a ticket but he won't come, definitely won't come. |
