Well as I say I think the worst side effects are the tiredness and the fatigue and the mouth ulcers. It's so painful, there's nothing that eases the pain and it has still left me, I mean alright I'm very grateful that I'm still alive and everything you know but it does come at a price. I still do have effects, sort of side effects with my mouth, I have a dry mouth and I have problems still with my insides and that you know.
But I think it's just the sheer tiredness and not being able to do anything and it's so frustrating because you want to get out of bed and it isn't as though you just want to lay there but you just can't do it, it's just a physical impossibility because you are so weary. I mean alright I lost my hair within the first couple of weeks but there again may be if I'd have been younger it would've bothered me more but that was never really a concern to me because I thought well you know we're trying to save my life here, if the worst comes to the worst I can wear a wig if it never grows back you know. So that was never a particular issue although I didn't like wearing wigs actually I did try and, they do supply you with them but I never found it comfy so I didn't bother, I just used to wear a turban.
But I would say the side effects, the worst one is the mouth ulcers. And of course you've no control over bodily functions, you know I mean you're going to the loo, it just pours out of you, you know diarrhoea and what have you. I can always remember on occasion, which was about the only time that I ever really felt like giving up, and someone had given me some money for the Christmas and so my husband had been and bought me a new dressing gown and slippers and I was wearing it and I just couldn't get to the loo in time and it just poured out of me. And oh it was, I was in a right state. When my husband walked in and I just, I was just sort of crying and saying "Oh this is it, I've had enough, I can't carry on like this," you know. And he was very, very calm and collected and just cleaned me up and sorted me out and I was fine again then you know. That's about the only time really that I ever felt that I couldn't carry on with it. But yes, some people do, I have heard people say that you know it is too much, that they would never, ever go through it again. |
