Okay. So, is there an emotional side to your illness?
There is I mean, I'm the same as anyone else. I do get my down moments where I think, 'Why have I got this?' And I do feel that I have my teenage years robbed of me, because I, I'd never stepped foot in a club. There's a lot of things I haven't done that normal teenagers have done.
But I'm certainly more positive now than what I used to be, and I do believe that's because of the drug I'm on. Because although it's there, it's not in your face as much and so I've had that. I can go out and do things more now that I want to do. I have my limitations but I can do them, whereas before, I couldn't do them in the first place at all. So I'm certainly more positive now that what I was.
I do find if there's a situation that's cropped up that's upsetting, or something, I tend to get more emotional maybe than somebody else, so someone will have to go, 'Boo.' And I'll probably cry. You know, I do cry at things a lot more which, I've been told is when I've been to hospital you get given questionnaires when we go, and they ask you a lot of questions about how you feel emotionally, especially from day to day.
And admittedly, I'll admit I can get down about things quite quickly but when it comes to the arthritis, I feel quite positive that it's being managed now and my outlook is better than what it was. I'm very positive compared to what I was before. So I, like I say, I think myself lucky compared to what it could have been.
And I, you know, if I'm having a down moment I think to myself, 'There's people out there far worse than what you are.' You know, cancer patients and things like that. You know, I think the same goes, arthritis can ruin your life, but it won't take your life or something like that, you know. And, well I don't even know if it will ruin my life, motto, that gets on with it [laughs].
I try to anyway.
So what have you done within these last three years that you were unable to do before?
I've been holding down a part time job, at this farm shop. But it's the general mobility from day to day that has changed the most. Something so simple as getting in and out of the car which, you know, admittedly still is a struggle now, but before it would take ages to get in and out of the car. Getting out of the bath.
The only thing I'll say that I can't do still to this day, is squat or bend or kneel on my knees. I haven't been able to do that for about eleven years, or since I was diagnosed actually. And it's amazing how something like that can really affect, you know, you think about it, if you drop something on the floor you'd think, 'I can't squat for that. I have to bend my whole body.' But I do work round that but it just general mobility, getting up in the morning, not being as stiff and as swollen and everything else. It is far better than what it was. I can also go out for longer periods of time.
I mean, when my arthritis was particularly bad, this was just before I was put on the Enbrel, I couldn't walk by myself. I was either supported by my mum and dad. I couldn't even use the crutches because my elbows were swollen, so I couldn't even use crutches to get around. |
