Thinking ahead

Thinking about the future was an area that many parents said that they found hard because of concerns about who would take care of their children and what would happen to their children when they were no longer around. For parents of young children in particular, it was very difficult to have any idea of the ways in which their children would develop (see ‘Positive change over time’). In this summary, we provide an overview of the ways in which parents discussed their children’s future prospects.

For some parents of older children or adults, difficulties revolved around the problems their children had doing typical jobs. The children took longer to process information or found workplaces too chaotic to cope with so it was a case of trying to find the right employer and the right position which was rarely successful.

Jacqui thinks a lot of heartache and depression could be avoided if more training was provided for employers.

Daryll describes how important it is for Tiffany to go to university because if not, she will probably remain at home forever.

Tracy describes how Nicola is very capable but she is not sure whether she could live independently.

Though Nita has written a book and Carolann is “so blinking proud of her”, she is not leading the life she wants.

John and Lynne discuss how difficult it would be to have Gavin living at home in the future. 

For the parents whose children were in college the concern was about what would happen to the children at the end of the course. As one father said; “What do we do next? He won’t be ready for employment. He will probably never live independently. He will always need somebody by his side so what does he do next?”

Parents of younger children described mixed feelings about their children’s futures. For some parents the future was a “scary, scary time ahead” while other parents were confident that their children would lead happy and fulfilled lives.

Bobbi is looking forward to seeing her son develop and thinks it is going to be a “really cool ride”.

Rachel sees the future negatively or positively depending on what kind of day she is having.

Vikki and Nick don’t know if their son will live with them for the rest of his life and find it difficult to know what he is going to aspire to.

Nuala thinks her son’s life is not going to be the easiest life but it could be quite a good life with luck.

Parents tended to focus on trying to prepare their children for adult life despite the uncertainty this entailed. One mother, for example, described how her son wanted to study augmentation and artificial limbs and electronics at Cambridge University and she was working hard to prepare him to live independently so he could achieve this.

The uncertainty parents experienced about their children’s future is a common characteristic of having a child on the autism spectrum. Accessible information, support and service provision are factors which help parents to feel more confident about their children’s futures and these are discussed further in ‘Information’ and ‘Support groups' and 'Respite care’.

Last reviewed November 2012.

Last updated November 2010